On the rapidly changing planet where we live it has become crucial to constantly work on yourself, to love yourself better and better, and this includes erotic self-love. Until recently self-pleasure has remained among the strongest taboos worldwide. Against reason, in many contexts it’s still more taboo than homosexuality. Fortunately tolerance for sexual diversity is increasing overall.
Attitudes about masturbation are relaxing due partly to the Internet with increasing access to sex education and pornography. Now the cutting edge of spirituality embraces not only Tantra and Taoist sexual practices, but most radically of all, Mindful Masturbation. Though self-pleasure is often either demonized or trivialized, this is precisely because, pursued as a form of self-love, masturbation becomes incredibly powerful.
Despite a legacy of misinformation, we know that masturbation itself cannot harm anyone. Only the guilt and shame sometimes associated with it can cause harm. Indeed masturbation is known to be healthy, good exercise on all levels, beneficial and even good practice for other forms of erotic activity. However it can do far more for you than merely relieve sexual tension or prevent frustration.
This is a secret that authorities both secular and religious have suppressed for centuries because it means that you really need no intermediary between yourself and the Source of All Things. It is literally in your hands, when you touch yourself in full awareness, with unhurried love, care and devotion to pleasure for its own sake. This can connect you directly with the Divine.
What does the “mindful” aspect of masturbating mindfully mean? It is precisely the opposite of living in your thoughts, or your mental sphere. Mindfulness, as in the Buddhist sense, means simply paying full attention to what you feel. It means not losing yourself in fantasy. Become fully embodied; be present here and now. Pay attention and enjoy intensely.
The practice becomes powerful and even transformational when you keep the focus on your own body and your immediate experience. The most important key of all is to do this as a process of loving yourself, ever better and better, as you practice. For men it is also useful to learn, not so much to avoid ejaculation, but to make it a choice.
You cannot experience the really high states of ecstasy that become transformational unless you train yourself to absorb the erotic energy and allow it to become part of you, rather than throwing it out of your body with frequent ejaculations. Cultivate the energy and absorb it! There are no absolute rules in this practice except one: Be kind to yourself.
Plus the practice need not be lonely, or only done solo. So long as you keep a mindful focus, you can share Mindful Masturbation with a partner or a group of friends. This becomes a powerful way to experience your daily life as Heaven on Earth!