In the gay community many do not have kids and they end up spending all their money and time on themselves. That as such will never bring happiness and unhappy people rarely have successful relationships. For that reason I look into happiness for gay people because happy people better their chance on finding that special person. First we said you should actively grow into happiness by looking after your body, secondly we said you should temporally grow into happiness by handling you past, present and future. Now we will be looking into your determinate survival. Survival in our time isn’t hunting and planting anymore, but keeping a job and making sure that your income is high enough for survival. Unfortunately happiness also needs more than mere survival. This cornerstone is about the material aspect of our lives.
Obviously you can become very unhappy if you pursue money for money’s sake. Some people really seek happiness in a bank-balance, but this is not what I suggest. It isn’t about the money but about what the money can do. We all know the saying that money can’t buy happiness and to some degree this is still an absolute truth. I have always thought that money can’t make you happy, but it surely can make you very unhappy if you do not have enough. In positive psychology some argue that money can buy happiness – off course not in the sense of buying love, but in the sense that money buys everything else. If you enjoy reading you have to buy books, if you enjoy surfing you have to buy the gear, and if you enjoy movies you have to buy the tickets, DVD, or Blu-ray. In that sense it is true that a lot of the things we enjoy cost money, and therefor we need money to be happy.
On the other hand money can easily become a trap. You know the saying – if the going gets tough, the tough goes shopping. Shopaholics can tell you how they got to a point where they could not enjoy life if they can’t shop – buying anything whether they need it or not. If that happens you are caught in a trap of unhappiness that was caused by believing too much in money’s power to delight. This happens if you ignore the rule of moderation. If you buy a new car that you do not need and can’t afford the car will become the center of your unhappiness; lying awake at night thinking about nothing else that the money you wasted. In the end you hate that car and it becomes the opposite of what you thought it would bring. Moderation is the key; money can buy a lot of things you enjoy, enjoyment brings happiness, but if you do not keep your eye on moderation it is the same money that will buy unhappiness.
To be satisfied with what you have is a very important aspect of happiness. As said before, some people received everything in life except the ability to enjoy it. If you make a list of the things you already own you would be amazed to see that you have more than enough to be happy about. Do I need three cars or would one be enough to take me to the places, people, or events that give me joy? Do I need a bigger house or is the one I have big enough to do the things I love? Do I need more money or is the money that I have enough to satisfy some of the things that I would like? There is nothing wrong with wanting more, but make sure that the wanting more does not become the goal. What I mean is that it is okay to want more, but if wanting more takes over your life and it becomes your only goal then you will never be satisfied – there will always be more than you have and you will never be gratified.
In order to be happy we need more than mere survival, we need to spend time with other things as well, but if we always spend our time dreaming about the things we do not have, we will never be content.