Q: What is so bad about sex between parents and their children?
A: Sexually abusive parents use the sex as a way of controlling their children and as a way of relieving sexual and emotional frustration, usually due to an unfulfilling, selfish spousal or significant partner relationship. Incest has nothing to do with true love.
The experience is oppressive, humiliating, and demeaning for sexually abused children. Aside from that, the abusive parents’ manipulations and sexual assaults set the child up for destructive negative agreements, behavior patterns, and selfish reactions.
Incest cripples children and the toxic residue from the experience, which is typically suppressed or repressed, usually destroys trust and seeps in to pollute adult sexual relationships in overt and covert ways. It is a hidden force that often underlies violent acts displaced onto innocent scapegoats.
Q: Why do you insist that the majority of men and women today are incest survivors?
A: The clues are everywhere and spreading. Incest is ancient and prevalent in probably all human societies. A visible clue is the presence of homosexuality and that presence, though often suppressed, oppressed, and attacked, date way back in time and all over the globe.
Incest is extremely selfish behavior instigated and perpetuated by extremely selfish parents. The more selfish a person becomes, the more controlling and abusive he or she is apt to be, and sexual abuse is usually a part of the parental abuse. The sexual abuse frequently comes in the guise of “love” or “education.”
During the past forty years, humans, especially in America, have chosen to become much more selfish. As such, extremely controlling, abusive, and reactive. The emphasis on sexuality, no longer suppressed in America and other countries, is not a natural emphasis or phenomena. It actually is a reliable mirror for the inappropriate selfish parent-child sexuality that is and has been occurring behind closed doors.
The clues are found in the words of our songs, in the sex (and violence) that permeates our movies and TV programs, on the covers of magazines, in the promiscuity, frigidity, pornography, sexual assaults, teen-age pregnancies, substance abuse, and skyrocketing mental illness symptoms that have become rampant. These are all selfish reactions to something that supposedly never happened.
Q: Is incestuous experience always harmful?
A: Yes. Incestuous experience is emotionally devastating and evokes strong selfish reactions.
The reactions become destructive behavior patterns that typically manifest as extreme jealousy, patterns of deception, avoidance, evasion, flakiness, and refusal to be mentally present to one’s current reality, memory problems, body image issues and distorted perceptions of one’s physical body, an eating disorder such as anorexia, bulimia, and obesity, excessive masturbation, sexual promiscuity, avoidance of sexuality, an obsession with sex and sexual images, substance abuse, prostitution, perversion, a major mental or emotional disorder, suicide attempts or suicide.
Many incest survivors immerse themselves in song, dance, acting, painting, law, or nature… just so they can escape the pain and disappear for a while.
Q: Are you saying that sexually abusive parents are causing many of our personal mental, emotional, behavioral, and sexual ills?
A: No. I am saying that sexually abusive parents, who invariably are incest survivors in strong reaction to their family experiences, are using their children in selfish, self-centered, unloving ways and their children, when they choose to selfishly react to their unloving experience are creating and perpetuating the personal mental, emotional, behavioral, and sexual ills that plague and pain them.
The bottom-line responsibility for an incest survivors (everyone’s) day-to-day experience rests solely with the nature of their choices. When the experience is negative, the choices are selfish and wrong.
Q: Can a person heal from incestuous experience?
A: “Experience” is not what we must heal from, rather, it our selfish reactions to our (negative) experiences that require change or healing.
A more central question would be “Can a person heal from selfish reaction?” My response is “Yes.” provided a person is sincerely and consistently willing to stop doing what he or she knows and is doing that is wrong, and is sincerely and consistently willing to start and keep doing what he or she knows is truly right.